Silence and Solitude {Day 28}

I sat at the long wooden table in the austere monastery. It was my first time having a group experience of silence. Our whole prayer class was there. A beautiful fall Saturday spent in silence. Soaking in the sights of the property overlooking the Puget Sound. Walking, journaling, reflecting. All was comfortable…until lunch time.

I sat at the wooden table eating my soup. Aware of each sound. Aware of the person across from me. We locked eyes a few times. An awkward smile when you are so use to words filling the space. Slowly I embraced the awkwardness and didn’t fear it. I looked at her, really looked at her. And I prayed. I didn’t know my classmate well. But words came, specific words flowed to pray. I saw her differently. I suppose I was seeing her with the eyes of my heart. The silence allowed us to see the unseen. When the space wasn’t filled with the noise, I suppose our souls have more room to breathe and to be noticed. Her soul. That is what I saw.

This Saturday retreat was twelve years ago. And yet, some tears came as I remembered it. Tears that tell me the holy was near. Tears that tell me something happens when I leave behind the distractions of life and enter into the presence of God.

Silence and solitude. Two practices that are hard to come by. Sometimes we long for it, but can’t imagine finding time for it. Sometimes we are afraid of it and what we might face if we quiet our mind for long enough.

“We are so afraid of silence that we chase ourselves from one event to the next in order not to have to spend a moment alone with ourselves, in order not to have to look at ourselves in the mirror.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Silence and solitude come in a few ways. There is extended time away. Maybe for a few hours, maybe a few days.  But it is dedicated, intentional time to withdraw from the pace and responsibilities of our life. It also comes in small chunks. Five minutes of silence before the day begins. A space to breathe deeply and usher in the Spirit to our day.

“In a noise-polluted world, it is even difficult to hear ourselves think let alone try to be still and know God. Yet it seems essential for our spiritual life to seek some silence, no matter how busy we may be. Silence is no to be shunned as empty space, but to be befriended as fertile ground for intimacy with God.”  Susan Muto

Earlier this month, Rob and I had the gift of getting away for a few days to upstate New York. With each mile that passed on the five hour drive, I could feel a letting go of daily life. Anticipation growing for our little cottage by the lake. The glory of the leaves changing seemed to mark our time away, an invitation to notice and to be lavished.

The days did not disappoint. Long minutes sitting in an Adirondack chair by the lake. Wrapped up in a sweater in my favorite kind of weather that reminds me of a God who reveals beauty through loss. Time slowed down and I soaked it all in. His Word, the beauty, the time and space. Listening to the heart of God which seemed to have freedom there to minister to me. I wondered, how do I bottle this up? How do I carry it back?

Of course I can’t bottle it up. We re-enter into the volume level of a house with two young children and a dog. But that connection to God, that pace of life, that margin of those days, I have known the secret of refreshment that comes and I long for that in my daily life.

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16

What do we do then to have silence and solitude be a rhythm of our life?

First, we need retreat time. We need chunks of time away. Yes I know that can feel impossible. We still need chunks of time away. God can work with the impossibility of our schedules.  He knows our souls and he knows the pace of life at which we live. We know we can’t keep living at that pace without burning out. We need time away. Your family and friends need you to have time away. The world needs it too.

A mentor of mine was once asked how she found time for reflection and quiet. She said, “I don’t. I would never find it. I have to be intentional and create space for it.” Our world is not set up for that to be a natural rhythm without our intention.

Second, we need silence in our everyday life. Here are some ideas of what that might look like:

Arrive 5 minutes early for an appointment.

Get up before the rest of the house. I am always amazed at how God multiplies this time.

Go on a 24 hour media fast. Limit the input you are receiving.

Turn off the tv for the night.

Drive in your car without the radio or cd player on.

Find a close by quiet spot whether in nature or indoors. I have gone to our local hospital chapel to pray and journal after dropping my daughter off at preschool. It is a quiet and peaceful place.

Switch watching kids with a friend. She takes yours for a few hours one day and then you take hers another day. Don’t do anything on your to do list.

Switch houses with a friend. Ok, I have never done this. But I had friends early in our marriage who would do this once a month. A whole day of being at someone else’s house away from your distractions. (I suppose you would have to know the person well to do this one!)

Try one of these and let me know how it goes. Keep at it, because the first few (or hundred) times, we may notice things we would rather not notice- loneliness, anger or impatience. But as we practice this we will celebrate the freedom that comes from quieting the voices that crowd our hearts and minds. That is the place where the landscape is cleared to listen to the voice of Love.

I am participating in Write 31 Days. Click right here to see all the amazing topics!  I am writing on 31 Beauty Full Days.  You can read the intro post here.  And you can also always click on the button on the sidebar to see all posts in the series.