In August of 2005, Rob and I were visiting my parents in Minnesota. We were living in Seattle at the time and had been in the area the week prior for a church planters assessment. On a Sunday evening my dad went to play basketball at church as he typically did every Sunday. That night we got a phone call to come to the gym immediately. It was a phone call you can never prepare yourself for and even remembering that night now, it was enveloped with a feeling of surreal-ness.
At age 58 my dad passed away, suddenly, unexpectedly with no time to prepare, with no warning. He was vibrant and active and engaging. To imagine death taking such a fully alive man seemed incompatible.
After a few weeks, Rob returned to Seattle. Our church plant was starting, he was teaching at a seminary. Life was pulling us to go on, something my dad would have been enthusiastically rooting for. I stayed for a few more weeks to be with my mom.
One night while I was still in Minnesota, Rob went over to some friends’ house for dinner in Seattle. We talked before he left. A few hours later I tried calling him. It is two hours later in Minnesota and I was heading to bed. I left him a message and said I would be going to sleep soon. As the minutes passed after I left my message, anxiety grew and worry set in. I was sure something tragic had happened to him.
Logic and a sound mind went out the window. Never mind that it was not late on the west coast. No accounting for the fact that he was with six of our friends and most likely something didn’t happen to all of them. No, a desperate feeling set over me and I knew something was wrong.
Well, as you can probably guess, all was indeed fine. But for a good hour I was sure my life had drastically changed, again.
Do you know those moments? They may last for an hour or for months. They capture not only our mind, but our emotions and even our body.
Scripture talks of anxiousness and worry. When left unchecked, uncared for they can become full blown phobias. Once again, God is not surprised when these feelings rise up in us. He is equipped and ready to handle them. Far more effectively than we can alone.
Here are a few passages to reflect on:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.” Philippians 4:6
“An anxious heart weighs a man down.” Proverbs 12:25
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
When your heart is troubled, how does that impact your perspective?
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Perspective does effect our lives. I wrote about having a positive outlook today as well. Sometimes we have to work hard to keep a good perspective
I lived most of my childhood and ten years in fear. I would even sleep with my Bible at night. I am so relieved your husband was ok! These are wonderful verses to commit to memory!
I have battled anxiety and worry all my life. Some of those verses are in my Scripture memory challenge this year. I am memorising a whole chunk of Philippians 4 but in the Message version. It really speaks to me. I have also done the worry and convinced something had gone wrong when my husband was slow in replying. My go to is to start planning all the steps of what I would need to do once someone came to notify me. My mind’s sorry attempt at control.
I wrote along these lines today! Worry and anxiety are words I tend to use. Fear? Not so much. Not because I dont’ have any but because I don’t label it that way. Worry sounds better from a ‘woman of faith’ right? Trust has been quite a journey for me, to let go of worries (I tell my mom she programmed me to worry). So thankful for a God who promises peace!
Sorry for your loss I know it’s been 10 years but I’m sure although therapeutic it’s not easy to write about still. Thanks for this because of an unexpected loss in my family a couple years ago I find myself with the same unwarranted worries. I will reflect on these verses you shared.