Every Day Ways We Say No Fear {Day 6}

I sat by him at his desk. In his room painted blue, Guatemala blue he calls it. We had some tears to get to this point. Some days homework is completed smoothly and without hassle. This was not one of those days.  Some days he calls from another room, I’m all done. Other days he needs me by his side as he wrestles through something new. This was that day.

The tears had subsided and he was making progress, but in his job at hand of putting large numbers in order he had left out the commas. Instead of a series of numbers it looked like one huge never ending number.

I was just about to say, put in your commas. When I felt a whisper to my spirit, just wait. And so I did. Not a moment later he says in surprise “I forgot my marks” And he goes back and puts in all the commas.

He doesn’t see the tear in my eye this time. It has everything and nothing to do with his homework. It is my son learning. And it is me learning. It is me trusting a God who sees the details. Who surprises me and says “I care”. He is with me in the small daily-ness of my life. He whispers. And sometimes I am still enough and brave enough to listen.

I was preparing to write today’s post and this night from a few weeks ago came to mind. I thought of it because sometimes this is what No Fear looks like. You see this homework things can at times bring out the worst in each of us. My impatience triggers a strong reaction in him. His resistance pushes my buttons. And we spiral. And at the root of it for both of us is fear. Worry. Anxiety.

What does no fear look like on these nights? It is trusting God. It is seeing the ways worry or impatience take away from relationship. It is letting go of my son needing to perform in a certain way and at a certain pace. It is knowing myself and the things that I try to control and deciding that God is enough. I can give him control. I can entrust homework and my son’s growth to him. I don’t need to make it happen. My greatest gift is being there and freely offering my presence and not let fear dictate my interaction, even in the subtlest of ways.

I wonder, when you hear the words No Fear. What images come to mind?

If you put the words no fear into google, or any photo searching site, images of sky diving and jumping off cliffs come up. And while it certainly can be that, most of our No Fear moments come up in our daily context. Our washing dishes, going to work, doing one more load of laundry kind of life.

No fear is asking someone to coffee when you are new in town and having no idea if they will say yes.  It is embracing a pregnancy after a miscarriage. It is a little girl wearing a red velvet dress to church in the middle of the hot summer, because she thinks it’s beautiful.  It is applying for a job after so many rejection letters. It is you declaring, I am made in God’s image and what he makes is stunning.

It is hope and it is courage. It is vulnerable and open hearted. It is paradoxical because showing up in our fear draws people to us rather than pushing them away. It allows others to say “ahhh, you too? I thought I was the only one.”

Where do you see yourself or others choosing to move with no fear, but rather anticipating a goodness that weathers storms and loss and one more night of homework?

PS I think we will camp out here a few days. There seems to be much to unpack here. On the types of fear we have. On being to recognize it when it surfaces. On the ways it prevents us from flourishing.

I am participating in Write 31 Days. Click right here to see all the amazing topics!  I am writing on 31 Beauty Full Days.  You can read the intro post here.  And you can also always click on the button on the sidebar to see all posts in the series.