He is sound asleep. I sit at the edge of his bed for a while. I am completely captured by him. One of those moments where deep down to your bones you feel a mothers love. So complete, so beyond yourself.
My relationship with my son has much joy and laughter. Oh, but it also has conflict and strife. Groaning over homework and escalating words over a messy room. And today has been one where our heads butted more than they nodded in agreement.
Some words of the apostle Paul float into my mind, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” It is not one of my favorite verses. To be honest I’ve always been a bit bothered that he would call our troubles ‘light and momentary’. When I’m in the midst of them, they seem heavy and permanent.
But in this moment, this sitting on a bed in this painted blue room moment, I get the verse. All the conflict fades. The lego piles on the floor, the books scattered across the room, right now, they just don’t matter. Not to the same extent that love matters. My love for him far outweighs the trials. Not even a comparison. I know that nothing, can take away the depth of this love.
I stare at him for a long time. And I have tears that I can’t explain. But they are good tears. Tears that affirm they would do anything to protect and nurture and fight for this boy.
In this moment I know we will get through the growing pains and spelling list and stalling bedtimes. I know the beauty on the other side. It is there, in front of me. In sleeping brown eyes. A sweet soul that longs for me to help him know who he is, who he is made to be. A future beckoning for us to come.
And for a moment, a flash in the night, I know of the eternal glory that far outweighs them all. I know that day by day His grace will sustain. Day by day until we celebrate the lavish banquet He has prepared.
I walk out of his room, slowly, tenderly, remembering the rest of Paul’s words…”So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen,since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Father, may I parent with your eyes and your vision and your perspective. Fixing my eyes on you. Letting your Spirit fill me and guide me when I am empty. May I never let go of the new life you are making in us. May I hold on to this beauty you have shown me tonight.
Linking with Unforced Rhythms
I am participating in The Nester’s 31 Days of Series. Click right here to see all the amazing topics! I am writing on 31 Beauty Full Days. You can read the intro post here. And you can also always click on the button on the sidebar to see all posts in the series.
Only one more day to go!!
I can’t even tell you how much my heart resonates with your words today, Melanie. Thank you. I love you and your beautiful heart!!!
WOW I am right in the middle of this post! “To be honest I’ve always been a bit bothered that he would call our troubles ‘light and momentary’. When I’m in the midst of them, they seem heavy and permanent.” That is how I feel at times so thank you for the reminder that there is “beauty on the other side” 🙂
Blessings, Sarah Travis xox
As a mother of two boys I hear your heart. They are both grown up and have left home now and I wrote a blog reflecting back on the success of mothering. I wrote at the end: “Success is subjective. And relative. I borrow the words of Mother Teresa when she said: “We are not called to be successful, but faithful.” Can I add to that…faithful and hopeful that where we failed miserably God would make up the deficit, despite us. Therefore success is His business and we can only thank Him for a job, by His grace, well done.” Neither we nor they remember the buttings of anything, and I’m sure there were times as none of us is perfect, but God is good and his words will not return void. The unseen in our family has become eternal hope. Bless you and the blog is …if you care to read more. http://probablyinpurple.wordpress.com/2014/07/17/my-mutterings-on-motherhood-bringing-boys-up/
Melanie, your post touched my heart. When I see my sons sleeping, I can see in their faces the young boys they used to be. And of course, the daily battles fade away (spelling lists, legos – oh, how I remember!). You write beautifully and I am looking forward to coming back and reading more. November = 30 Days of Reading Awesome Blogs. @Bless you and your family.
I relate to this post so much. My daily life with 6 little ones ages 7 and under seems hard on many days, but I catch glimpses of the future when all the hard work and training will pay off. I try to rejoice in the small victories and remember that if God is not finished with me yet, he can definitely still work in my children’s lives as well.
I know that exact feeling you are talking about. thanks for the great reminder!
All of the conflict does seem to fade in the Light of His love, doesn’t it? I love those sleeping moments, so very precious!
Such a sweet perspective check for me here tonight, Melanie. Thank you, sister. This is beautiful and real.
“In this moment I know we will get through the growing pains and spelling list and stalling bedtimes. I know the beauty on the other side.” Yes! And over and over through the years, no matter how old our children, this holds true. Thanks for sharing, Melanie.
Melanie. Oh. This is such beauty, this moment of clarity. The fullness of your love hits me square in the chest as I read your words. Thank you for the very real reminder of the glory that waits beyond our vision.
This is so real, so beautiful. Thank you.
Just beautiful! I can totally relate as I constantly butt heads with my oldest. But I know that God will use his stubbornness and need to be right for His glory. But we moms have to be diligent in praying, guiding and loving our kids unconditionally no matter what! Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.