I pulled the shirt out of a pile, getting ready to do some yard work. I paused as I put it on. My college had separate Mothers and Fathers weekends every year. I always looked forward to them.
My hands ran over the words “Wheaton College. Fathers Weekend 1988.”
I remember the year that Fathers Weekend fell at the same time as my dad’s big work conference. An event half way across the country. But he drove east. He came to Wheaton.
He came to spend time with me. I don’t know if I realized at the time that it was not a typical choice. He was the top sales person for his company. He worked hard. He won awards.
I’ve always proudly known that my dad would choose our family over work.
But now, some 25 years later, something different struck me as I went to put it on. I never felt my dad’s decision to spend time to me was obligatory. It wasn’t a decision to “do what was right’.
I’m sure it started out as that. As a young dad deciding he would be intentional about time with his daughter. That he would consciously choose to have quality time with me over other possibilities. An action of the head, a logical plan on how he would parent.
And that habit turned into enjoyment. I knew my dad liked being with me. That he had fun, that time with me was not a chore nor something to hold up to measure his success as a dad.
I can’t imagine a greater gift to a daughter than to know her father delighted in her.
I sit on my bed. My husband is no longer surprised to find me sitting reflecting, soft tears misting, when I have said I will be out in the yard weeding.
He let’s me be. I keep letting my mind wander. College weekends: parents full of joy at being with their daughter in her environment. Wanting to know all the details of my life. Wanting to experience what interests me. Not because they should to be good parents, but because they desire to know me.
I suppose we all want that. For our relationships to flow from love, rather than obligation.
I recognize my tears are deeper that reminiscing on tender years. In the ways God so often does, he reveals the parallels to my life of faith.
He continually shows me it is about life with Him. Not just life for Him.
He wants more than my sacrifice. He wants relationship.
He doesn’t want me to merely check off quiet time from my to-do list. He wants my heart.
I want it to.
To enjoy Him. Not just what he can do for me.
To know Him personally. Not just words on a page describing him.
To lay aside big plans, to spend time with him.
To begin to have a glimpse of how the psalmist could say “your love is better than life.”
I offer my obedience. And pray he sweetly gathers my offering and transforms it into beautiful communion.
Now I’ll never be able to wear my t-shirt again without being wrapped in the arms of Love.
Linking today with Tell His Story and Hear It, Use It
Dear Melanie
Your words touched me deeply today! I am with you 100% that obligatory love is no love at all. True love flows only from that intimate knowledge that your Beloved rejoices over you with singing. That is just the way love is!
Blessings XX
Mia
Thank you Mia….I so often settle, or expect an imitation love. But is so sweet to experience true love. Thanks for sharing this journey!
Love
Melanie
How did I miss this blog before? This is a beautiful post about the way habit becomes delight! Thanks.
Oh, thank you Helene! I’m glad you found your way here. I like that phrase, habit becoming delight. Thank you!
Melanie
Melanie, you are so blessed to have a wonderful dad who works hard but knows what his priorities in life need to be. I love the analogy you have used and how it speaks of the love we receive from Father God and our relationship with Him.
Fabulous truths here. Thanks for such a great post.
Linked here from Hear it on a Sunday, Use it on a Monday.
Blessings
from Melanie at Essential Thing Devotions
Hi Mel
Yes, I am so grateful for my dad. He passed away eight years ago (next week) and I miss his presence in my life.
Thank you for stopping by, I’ve enjoyed visiting your place!
Melanie
Hi Melanie! Nice to see you today! I’m coming from Hear in on Monday.
Well, there is a reason your father was #1 salesperson. He knew his priorities, and it showed in his cross country drive to see you. What a witness to love. And what a father figure too. Many do not have positive images of their Dad’s, so seeing God is as a good father is hard.
Not you! God has blessed you for sure.
Blessings,
Ceil
Hi Ceil
It’s been great meeting you and connecting the last few days.
I have learned a lot from my dad…and know what a gift that is, and yes makes it enjoyable to see God as Father.
My dad passed away eight years ago and I miss him- and am glad his impact lives on.
Blessings to you.
Melanie
What a beautiful gift your dad gave you. This makes me want to call my own dad!
HI Anna
It makes me smile that you would want to call your dad after reading!
Thank you
Melanie
Melanie, quite possibly your best post yet. Great analogies.
Well thank you Diane. You never know what might prompt introspection….and God speaking.
Thanks for always encouraging.
Melanie
Melanie,
I appreciate your story on so many levels. First of all, I immediately thought of the grand collection of Tshirts that I kept from my college years. I don’t think I can fit into mine anymore though! 🙂
Second, my dad spent a father’s weekend with me when I was a member of the Pi Beta Phi sorority at Iowa State University. We slept in cold-air dormitories on bunk beds, and all of us gave up our bunks that weekend so our dads could sleep in that cold-air dorm. They were all shivering , and they couldn’t imagine how we could sleep night after night that way — especially in the frigid Iowa temperatures! 🙂
Thanks for sharing with us at #TellHisStory.
I know I am a bit late… I am always slow at reading through my email box. But what a treasure this post is… the memory, the analogy. Yes. WITH more than for. So glad you are filling this space up again with your words. xo
Relationship…so true!! If we don’t have relationship we miss it all with our earthly and heavenly father! Loved this post, so beautifully written!
A relationship from love, not obligation – so good, and exactly what God wants from us. Beautiful post.