In November 2009 my husband gave me a wonderful gift. Four days at a hermitage. A cabin in the woods- just a bed, a chair and a screen porch. The retreat center had a basket of fruit and bread waiting for me. I settled in, ready to embrace what God had for me. The first morning I read Psalm 81:10. “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.”
I was eager to see what God would fill me with.
But do you known what happened? He kept bringing to mind things I needed to empty myself of. At first, small distractions to toss aside. And then “random” conversations from years ago that I had not even realized I was holding on to. And so began a day of me forgiving and asking for forgiveness.
The next morning I rose, ready now to be filled. But every time I sat to pray, every walk I took, each word that I began to write in my journal…other idols hidden away in crevices of my soul began to surface. Idols subtly whispering you need me more than you need God. Idols convincingly showing me that their way would lead to life.
It was if God was saying “If you want me to truly fill you, I want all of you. And to do that there are some things we need to get rid of to make more space.”
Well, there weren’t just “some things”, there were many things. Areas I would have never thought were holding me back from experiencing and noticing God. Areas that once cleared would cultivate abundant life, not a fake, flimsy substitute for it. I often just want the filling portion. It is harder to empty, to let go, to make room. However it is necessary in order to be filled with the good stuff.
What are areas in your life that God may be calling you to empty out?
In what places in your life do you most desire for him to fill you?
